Necessary Negotiations

“The year is 2008. I’m in the middle of a gruesome battle with anxiety and depression. Desperate for some direction, I bring myself to a confessional.

“Father, how do I know what God’s will for me is?” I ask the priest. “You talk to him,” the priest instructs me, “but not without telling Him what it is you want. Negotiate, so that you end up with both your wills.” At this, I tilt my head and raise my eyebrows.

Eleven years later, I find that I’ve taken this advice to heart. From making sense of being sexually abused as a child to my decision to straddle the sciences and humanities, I have ended up exactly where I am because of the countless negotiations I’ve made. Most of them were thought-out, some of them unconsidered, but all of them necessary.”

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